Please tell me about a time your parents unintentionally dragged you within an inch of your life. I'll go first: Once in college my mom sent me a care package that was just acne face washes and the book He's Just Not That Into You
— alanna bennett (@AlannaBennett) March 26, 2019
My mom once asked me I was using a different skin routine on my face because my face was "greasier than usual" https://t.co/t96Ar6BHih
— Jose Salvador (@JoseSalvadorIII) March 26, 2019
One time I told my mom about a really romantic and sweet way a friend of mine was proposed to and I said “nobody will ever love me that much” and well my mom just agreed with me
— Lil Uzi Horizont (@themeredith) March 26, 2019
When I was a freshman in college I said something about how I didn’t get why people felt the need to document every tiny thing they did on Facebook and my mom said “Well, an album of the inside of your dorm would be pretty boring.”
— Hannah (@hgcouture) March 26, 2019
We were picking up my brother from school and he just got in the car and said "ugh I'm so handsome" and my dad went "who said that??". Turns out he thought my brother was quoting something but we still laugh about this unintentional diss to this day
— Deborah S (@Elphadebi) March 26, 2019
We were sitting in the living room both reading books when I was about 9, and my mom, out of nowhere, says, "Alyssa! If you ever decide to get plastic surgery, I think you should get your ears pinned back first!"
— The Hoobie (@TheHoobie) March 26, 2019
My mom pointed to a cord she had just plugged in and said, “Don’t trip over that.” When I assured her I would not, she said, “I’ll move it. I know my daughter.”
— Christy Box (@cboxwriter) March 26, 2019
My mother gave me, for Christmas, in front of the entire family, a book about dating called "Why Am I Dancing Alone?"
— Libby Mitchell (@LibbyMitchellUT) March 26, 2019
When I got my 1st period I was visiting my estranged grandma w my dad. I begged him not to tell her why I had to run to CVS (to get pads). I called him to let him know I was heading to meet them & right as he hung up I heard him say to his mom “Oh, Rebecca? She had…an accident.”
— Rebecca Eisenberg (@ryeisenberg) March 26, 2019
When I was in college, my mom sent me Dr. Laura’s book, “Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives.” Twice. https://t.co/5lfXUxdS5c
— Ellen Thompson (@EllenFabulous) March 26, 2019
this reminds me of the time in college my mom sent me a box with a banana bread she made (nice)…surrounded by Planned Parenthood brochures about STDs and losing your virginity. Yes, she works there…but STILL.
— sara spruch-feiner (@sarajanenyc) March 26, 2019
My mother once asked me why, in God's name, was I wearing white tights? I was not wearing any tights.
— alice ryan (@alicekryan) March 26, 2019
*zipping up a dress for me last year* “This is the closest I’ll get to helping you into a wedding dress.”
— Maddie McClouskey (@soundofmaddie) March 26, 2019
My dad came to visit and said apologetically, “oh, didn’t we buy you a vacuum cleaner when you moved in?” He had, and I had used it minutes before he arrived.
— Jessica McClean (@jlmcclean) March 26, 2019
me: I'm going to audition for the school musical!
mom: you're not going to sing, are you?
— Simone de Rochefort (@doomquasar) March 26, 2019
Went to a Buca di Beppo’s restaurant with family when I was in college and they asked who was a first timer by going “So who’s a virgin” and I raised my hand and both parents inadvertently just guffawed so hard they wiped tears from their eyes.
— Kristin DeMarco Wagner📓 (@kcdemarcowagner) March 26, 2019
During a year abroad in Bristol, England, I received an intl express envelope containing only a rosary and newspaper clippings about the dangers of ecstasy/mdma.
— Conor (@AgentRonoc) March 26, 2019
My mom told me I should apply to be on Nailed It "because I think you could (very long pause) have a lot of fun!"
I've baked birthday cakes for her!
— Mallory Yu (@mallory_yu) March 26, 2019
My mom bought me a cookbook that started with how to boil water
— Emma (@emmalawson) March 26, 2019
My mom once called me complaining about how hard it is to find a good interior designer. How she had tried two or three before deciding to just do it herself.
I’m an interior designer.
— Sean (@ItsSeansTweets) March 26, 2019
my mom texted me like six months ago to tell me she "finally saw a tattoo she liked." I have 7 tattoos.
— Kate Nocera (@KateNocera) March 26, 2019
My mom commented on my insta story of my outfit with just "no thank you." I had been wearing it at work all day already.
— yalda (@yaldamn) March 26, 2019
Yeah, come to America, where you have free speech, unlike basically anywhere else(get rekt Britain) pic.twitter.com/B3uFUvkuPz
— InternetPedestrian (@pretenioushack) March 26, 2019